so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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