i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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