I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
