Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
