i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
