After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
