I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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