it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
