Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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