East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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