but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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