he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
