I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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