it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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