she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
