Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
