he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
