I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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