You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
