before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
