and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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