If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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