I heard we made out
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Barsexuality is the new black.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ladies don't puke and tell
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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