I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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