Someone shit on the floor
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
