Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
