it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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