i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
