What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
