I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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