if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
