dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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