garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
