Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
