Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
