I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
