I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
