That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
