areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
