How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
