First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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