it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
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Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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