You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish you could order shots online.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
