Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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