Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
