Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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