Too much gin, very little bucket
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
