So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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