so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
