too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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