Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
