I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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