i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
