I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
