we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
