oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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