Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize