Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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