My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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