and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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