somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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