I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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