Pappa wants mamma naked
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize