WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
