so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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