At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize